What Should I Do When I Grow Up?

Written By: Chandler Cole, Clinical Trainee at ACS, On-Campus Counseling Program

It’s a big question,and a lot of young people have the same worries about what they should do as a future career path, what they should study in college, or if they even want to go to college. “What if I don’t like what I’ll be doing, or what if I never decide!? I can’t even decide what I want to eat for lunch! Ah!” There are an endless amount of options for things that we can do, and some people can get stuck by the vastness of these different pathways. Feeling stuck in this rut of opportunities can leave us with feelings of increasing worry or sadness that just builds and builds. When we have these worries, on top of everything else we have to do every day, it can feel like we will never get out of a rock and a hard place that’s destined to never get better. Even though it may feel this way right now, it does not mean we will be stuck here. “But how can I do that? It’s such a hard decision.”

Luckily, there are plenty of ways that can help us figure out what to do next or what to do in the long-term! Here are some ways that can help you figure that out:

1. A Miracle

One way that can help us decide what to do is to think of a miracle. No, not the ones that we are taught or see in fairy tales. This miracle is what we can do and where anything is possible. Imagine, if you will, that you have a magic wand, and when you give this wand a flick and a swish, you will find that everything is the way you wish it will be. Maybe the sun will always be out, maybe your sibling will stop being so annoying, or maybe you’ll feel a certain way. This miracle helps us to figure out what we truly want for ourselves, now and in the future. What would feeling this way or experiencing this magical life do for you? How will you know that this miracle happened? What would the first thing you notice be? What will have changed in you when this miracle happened? What will others notice about you when the miracle has happened? Are there any steps you need to take in order to feel this way? Answering these questions will give you more data for you to think about and will help point you in the right direction towards your future.

2. Your Values

Do what you love and love what you do! This old saying that we’ve heard a million times may have more power than what we originally thought. The things we care about are the things that will help you decide what to do in the future. “But I don’t know my values. How do I figure that out?” Values can be hard to figure out and they may change over time, and that’s okay. The important part is using our values like a compass. We walk in the direction they take us, and as we move around, that direction may shift a bit. In the big picture, we are always marching toward what is important to us. There are plenty of ways to figure out our values. We can imagine if we were on a deserted island and could only pack the most important things with us, what would those things be? What do those things represent for you or who may they represent for you? Can you sum this down to one or two words? Those are your values. Another exercise to find your values can be found here. Once we have these values, we can search for things that instill those values for us. This could be careers, colleges, people, or anything else that will help us narrow our search.

3. Connecting

Another way to help us decide what to do is by talking with others. When we talk with our friends, family, teachers, parents, or the nice person beside you right now, we can find so much support. We can bounce off ideas about how they decided (if they did) to pursue their career or what their career entails. Even talking about what we are struggling with or looking for can help us figure things out. Often these conversations help us to get out of our own minds and see the solution right in front of us. Maybe what they said helped them is something you hadn’t thought of before! Maybe the conversation is also helping them figure things out themselves! Connecting with those around us can be helpful, and not just for finding out what we want to do in the future.

4. Relaxing

Put your feet up! Relax. Sometimes when we stop actually thinking about our plans, the solution pops right into our head. When we think, think, think we can think ourselves into nowhere, and all we’re left with is feeling worried and thinking about how worried we are! What helps you to disconnect from the hustle and bustle we go through daily? What helps loosen those muscles that hold our stress and calm our minds? Maybe you have a favorite sport, activity, book, hobby, or friend that helps you to do just that, or maybe it’s a combination of different things that helps you to unwind. Maybe it’s just taking a moment to pause, take a deep breath, and see what is around us. Relaxing is a strength that can keep us going in the direction we want when things start to get tough.

Any combination of these few ways can help us to figure out what we want to do. When we have some ideas that can help point us in the right direction, we can start looking deeper into the different steps we need to take to get there. Sometimes, this can take some time to do. There’s no rush; we don’t always need to figure things out so fast. All we know is that we will find out at some point, and we can get to where we want to be. These are just a few ways that can help you. There are plenty more out there to help you figure out what you should do in the future (or even what we may want for lunch. Yum!)

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References

John Carroll University (2016). Core Values Exercise Adapted from Taproot. John Carroll University. Pdf http://webmedia.jcu.edu/advising/files/2016/02/Core-Values-Exercise.pdf