Understanding and Managing Student Stress
Written By: Dara Gray Tynefield, AMFT at ACS, On-Campus Counseling Program
Eustress vs. Distress
For our students, the excitement of a new school year often gives way to a full routine of classwork, homework, extracurriculars, sports, clubs, arts, friends, family, jobs… and while the positive stress of a full and productive schedule is not inherently a bad thing, being overwhelmed by it can be. Positive stress, also known as eustress can too quickly become distress. Teaching and modeling for our children healthy time management and positive attitudes towards stress is a critical part of parenting any age child, but especially for adolescents. These skills are not something that comes naturally to our teens. All families can benefit from slowing things down and evaluating how best to support one another.
Understand that a teen may avoid asking for help, so be aware of some warning signs demonstrating when a parent should be more involved. Lack of, or changes in sleep, headaches, stomachaches, and sudden changes in behavior can indicate a teen is stressed,overwhelmed, and in need of assistance.
So how can a parent or caring adult help?
First and foremost, stay engaged. While adolescents are growing into young autonomous adults they still thrive when parents are involved and pay attention – even if they say otherwise. Try not to take their emotionality, irritability or their drive toward independence personally. Let your child know they can talk with you about anything. Expressing interest and curiosity about what is important to them, not just what you think, is important and will demonstrate to your teen positive, open communication. Listen carefully. Often they’re not looking for a solution as much as a sounding board while they discover and develop their own solutions.
While it is critical a teen manages their own responsibilities, it helps to have parents or a caring adult providing oversight on what may become “too much”. A positive way to do this is set a weekly calendar review, looking ahead at the coming week and helping your child to prioritize. Be sure to place equal import on down time, friends and family time as the academic requirements. We all are more successful and productive when we have a balance between our ‘have tos’ and our ‘want tos’.
The critical importance of sleep.
Help your teen get enough sleep. We all know and respect the sleep needs of newborns, but the sleep requirements for teens often go underestimated and unmonitored. The National Sleep Foundation recommends the amount of sleep for 14-17 year olds be 8 – 10 hours nightly. Multiple studies confirm sleep deprivation in teens can contribute to generally poor coping, symptoms of anxiety and depression, risky behaviors and an increased risk of injury. Be aware and correct factors that may impact your child’s best sleep; late night technology use, feeling anxious, too much caffeine, lack of exercise and/or too demanding a schedule. Set a good example, promote a consistent sleep routine and make sleep a priority for the whole family.
No one evolves into their best selves in isolation, least of all our teenagers. Helping them develop a healthy and positive relationship toward responsibilities, as well as an awareness of personal limits and the value of self-care are skills that will last them a lifetime.
Citations
Gary, J. (n.d.) Teens and Sleep: The Cost of Sleep Deprivation [article]. Retrieved from https://childmind.org/article/happens-teenagers-dont-get-enough-sleep/
National Sleep Foundation (2015, Feb.2) National Sleep Foundation Recommends New Sleep Times [Press Release]. Retrieved from https://www.sleepfoundation.org/press-release/national-sleep-foundation-recommends-new-sleep-times/page/0/1