Irritated or Debilitated: Helping your Teen Identify their Depression

in Academic Stress / Anger Management / Behavioral Norms / Co-Occuring Disorders / Depression / Disorders / Mental Health / Parent Tips / Parent-Teen Communication / Parenting / Stress / Stress Management  by Adolescent Counseling Services 0 comments

Written By: Brett Trace, Clinical Trainee at ACS, Outlet Program

If You’rea parent of a teen or someone who works with teens, odds are you’ve encountered teenage irritability. What may have felt like an easygoing, straightforward comment might cause your teen to become angry or withdraw from the conversation. Friends that they’ve had for a long time may suddenly seem to upset your child. As someone beyond your teenage years, it may be hard to understand the irritability that many teens experience.

Let’s take a second to remember what it’s like to be a teen today. Perhaps there is a lot of pressure on them to perform well in school. They may feel overburdened by pre-college classes, or struggling with a core subject.  Many are also participating in extracurricular activities and honor societies. Adolescents may work to support themselves or their families. For many, there are chores to be done at home and younger siblings to care for.  There are also social stresses, like managing relationships with a number of friends and worrying about how they are perceived. It’s also natural for teens in this stage of development to conform with their peers; in doing so, they often need to separate themselves from their family. While this can be a painful process for parents, it is a normal part of adolescent development.  And let’s not forget today’s teens must also contend with the pressures of social media (Burks 2022).

If we know that most teens are under pressure, why are some teens more upset than others? How will you differentiate between your teen just being irritable within a developmentally-appropriate range, versus when they may be approaching a potentially destructive extreme?  Let’s first make sure we know what we mean when we talk about irritability; when we are irritable, we are quickly annoyed or angered by the things around us (Dictionary.com, n.d.).  Occasionally feeling irritable isn’t a cause for concern on its own, but a constant feeling of irritability could indicate a mental health concern. What may come as a surprise is that constant irritability in teens is one of the leading indicators a teen is struggling with depression.

While we may generally think of depression as feeling constantly down, excessive sleeping, and a lack of joy or motivation, many will overlook irritability as a possible depression symptom. That’s because occasional irritability is to be expected of our teenage years. If you are concerned your teen may be more irritable than usual or more irritable than their peers, it can be important to wonder if your teen may be experiencing depression. In a recent NIH study, irritability was found to rarely occur by itself when teens are depressed, though it may be the most notable symptom (Stringaris et al., 2013). You may want to ask yourself, your partner, a school or mental health counselor, or your child themself a few questions about your teen’s wellbeing (MacDonald, 2010):

  • What other changes in your teens’ behavior have you noticed?
  • Are they acting out or engaging in risk-taking behaviors, isolating from friends and family, or constantly feeling “tired” or “sad”?
  • How severe are these symptoms, and how long have they been present?
  • Most importantly, is the irritability or other symptoms getting in the way of your child’s daily life?

Depending on the answers to these questions, it may be time to collaborate with a mental health professional and help your teen strengthen supportive relationships within their communities.

One of the most difficult pieces for parents is how their child’s irritability makes them feel. Even when someone is in treatment for depression, it can take time before their symptoms improve. An important tool for parents when their teens are experiencing mental health struggles is the ability to manage and process their own emotions. Responding to a teen’s irritable depression with your own anger or anxiety can have negative impacts for both your teen and you. You may want some additional tools to help you tolerate the distress of having an irritable-depressed teen. Doing a breathing exercise, engaging in a pleasurable activity, and even prayer are some ways we manage the feelings that come up when we are distressed (Sunrisertc, 2017). Being able to utilize these and other tools to care for yourself when your child is distressed is, perhaps surprisingly, one of the best ways you can continue to help and show up for your child.

 

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References

Burks, Michael (2022, September 22). Supporting teens on social media. Adolescent Counseling Services. Retrieved March 21, 2023, from https://www.acs-teens.org/supporting-teens-on-social-media/

Dictionary.com. (n.d.). Irritable definition & meaning. Dictionary.com. Retrieved March 21, 2023, from https://www.dictionary.com/browse/irritable

MacDonald, A. (2010, September 13). Distinguishing depression from normal adolescent mood swings. Harvard Health. Retrieved March 21, 2023, from https://www.health.harvard.edu/blog/distinguishing-depression-from-normal-adolescent-mood-swings-20100913335

Stringaris, A., Maughan, B., Copeland, W. S., Costello, E. J., & Angold, A. (2013). Irritable mood as a symptom of depression in youth: Prevalence, developmental, and clinical correlates in the Great Smoky Mountains Study. Journal of the American Academy of Child & Adolescent Psychiatry, 52(8), 831–840. https://doi.org/10.1016/j.jaac.2013.05.017

Sunrisertc. (2017, September 13). 6 life changing skills to successfully manage your next emotional crisis. Sunrise Residential Treatment Center. Retrieved March 21, 2023, from https://sunrisertc.com/distress-tolerance-skills/