How to Support Your Friends in Times of Need

Written By: Catherine Franco, Clinical Trainee at ACS, On-Campus Counseling Program

SUPPORTING YOUR FRIENDSduring tough times can be essential, but it can also feel overwhelming. Whether they’re dealing with stress, anxiety, or personal challenges, knowing how to be there for them is crucial. Here are some tips to help you support your friends.

1. Listen Actively
One of the most important things you can do is listen but listen actively. To be an active listener means you are entirely in the moment with your friend, you acknowledge their feelings, and you make it safe for them to express their feelings. Sometimes, we don’t want to be told what to do or what not to do, or we’re not looking for advice; sometimes, we just want to vent it out. Active listening allows us to build deeper relationships and connections with our friends while also being the lifeline they need during times of stress (Gupta, 2023).

2. Encourage Professional Help
If your friend is struggling significantly, encourage them to seek professional help. This can be scary to say to them but remind them that it’s okay to ask for help. Suggesting they speak to a counselor, therapist, or a trusted adult is a caring move. Your friend may be very hesitant at first, but it can help to validate their concerns like, “Hey, I know asking an adult for help is scary, but just know, you don’t have to figure it out on your own. I’m here for you, and I can go with you to get help whenever you’re ready”.

3. Engage in Activities Together
Sometimes, distraction is the best medicine. Engage in activities your friend enjoys or introduce them to a new one. Whether going out for a walk, playing video games, or watching funny Tik-Toks, these moments can provide a much-needed break from their struggles. Research shows that engaging in shared activities can lead to a more positive state of mind, a sense of belonging, and safety (Kawachi & Berkman, 2001).

4. Respect Their Space
While being supportive is essential, respecting your friend’s pace of opening up or asking for help is equally important. Everyone copes and processes things differently; some friends may talk openly, while others may need space and time. Try to be understanding of your friend; they’re trying to figure it out. When in doubt, reassure them you’re just a text or DM away.

5. Practice Self-Care
Supporting a friend can be emotionally overwhelming, so make sure you’re also taking care of your mental health. Engaging in activities you enjoy, spending time with others, and maintaining your well-being will allow you to be there for your friend more effectively. By practicing these strategies, you can be a source of strength for your friends. Remember, your support can make a real difference in their lives.

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References

Beresin, E., MD MA. (2020, February 6). What can we do to help young people who support peers with emotional problems? Psychology Today.
https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/inside-out-outside-in/202002/being-emotional-sponge-tips-youth-supporting-friends

Gupta, S. (2023, February 16). What’s The Difference Between Hearing and Listening? Verywell Mind. https://www.verywellmind.com/hearing-vs-listening-what-s-the-difference-5196734

Kawachi, I., MD, PhD, & Berkman, L. F. (2001). Social Ties and Mental Health. Journal of Urban Health: Bulletin of the New York Academy of Medicine, 78–78. https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC3455910/pdf/11524_2006_Article_44.pdf

Learn the signs – subpage Having a Conversation. (n.d.). Seize the Awkward. https://seizetheawkward.org/conversation/learn-the-signs