Fostering Emotional Intelligence in Children
Written By: Daniel Stepanian, Clinical Trainee at ACS, On-Campus Counseling Program
EMOTIONAL INTELLIGENCEis a vital interpersonal skill for both children and adults. It is the ability to name, understand, and manage our own emotions, as well as identify the emotions of those around us. High emotional intelligence helps kids navigate their ever-changing social environment and empathize with others. Additionally, emotional intelligence can benefit physical health through stress management, mental health, and school performance. Parents can aid in the development of their children’s emotional intelligence in order to give their child the best chance to be able to form healthy relationships and communicate effectively.
One way parents can begin to teach emotional intelligence is through helping their children name their own emotions. For example, if a parent notices their child is upset, they can prompt them to name their emotions and provide options if they need extra help. Giving children the vocabulary to describe their experiences helps them better understand and manage them. In addition, parents should validate their child’s feelings, especially when they are upset, sad, or frustrated, in order to create a safe environment for their children where they feel like they will not be judged for expressing their emotions.
Modeling is another great strategy to foster this skill. Children often learn by example and imitate what others around them do, so when parents are open about their own emotions, discuss them, and answer their child’s questions, their children will learn to develop their own emotional vocabulary.
Teaching emotion regulation is also a great strategy. Teaching and practicing coping strategies like deep breathing, grounding techniques, mindfulness, talking to a trusted adult, or asking for help will enable children to regulate their own emotions when they are angry, sad, anxious, or upset. This is an integral part of emotional intelligence. Parents can also model the use of coping skills and describe how it helps them regulate, further supporting children in their own emotional regulation.
Lastly, teaching active listening helps children develop empathy and the ability to pick up on other’s emotions, both of which are elements of emotional intelligence. Encouraging them to look at others when they speak and respond appropriately are helpful, and parents can practice this with their children as well.
Utilizing these techniques, parents can help foster their children’s emotional intelligence, setting them up for success in navigating relationships, social situations, and enabling them to be resilient and bounce back from challenges.
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References
Fostering Emotional Intelligence in children: A guide for parents. Smarter Parenting. (2024, May 22). https://www.smarterparenting.com/fostering-emotional-intelligence-in-children-a-guide-for-parents/
Segal, J., Smith, M., & Robinson, L. (2024, August 21). Improving emotional intelligence (EQ): Expert guide. HelpGuide.org. https://www.helpguide.org/mental-health/wellbeing/emotional-intelligence-eq
Volpitta, D. (n.d.). 6 tips for helping your child build emotional intelligence. Understood. https://www.understood.org/en/articles/6-tips-for-helping-your-child-build-emotional-intelligence